Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
