Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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