but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
