East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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