I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
