We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
