Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
