I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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