Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
