we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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