I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
