She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The ass gains better be worth it
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