so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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