we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
