I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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