Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
