I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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