After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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