Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
