I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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