dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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