I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
