How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
