I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize