does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just want nice things and good sex
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize