I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
