my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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