It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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