we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You can't special order awesome
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
