We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
