wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
how drunk are you?
Several
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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