I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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