whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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