Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
