if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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