dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
