I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
