my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
