Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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