Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
