I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
