your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
