my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
