So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I came so hard my ears popped.
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