Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
