Just fell off a train. Bad.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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