She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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