He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
