did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
