hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize