Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
