hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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