Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
