I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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