Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
