yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
birth control should be required to get into college
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
