so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
