taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
