So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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