he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was born a porn star she said
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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