I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
