so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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