Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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